Congressional investigation of the wire-tapping of Trump Tower by the Obama administration scored an early success with an admission of guilt from several involved parties. It turns out that the cover and plausible deniability that had kept the matter a secret for so long had been due to the unusual way in which the eavesdropping was done. Below are excerpts from an interview with Bartbright science consultant Peter Karbid.
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Bartbright: Peter, can you give us the scoop on how this was done?
Karbid: Sure, it is a fascinating story. In 1966 Mark Kac wrote an article entitled “Can you hear the shape of a drum?” where he posed the question from the title. A great deal of mathematical work followed and the answer turned out to be generally positive.
Bartbright: Huh?
Karbid: The point is that sound is just a wave in a medium. Kac’s article led to a tremendous amount of research on the dispersion of sound in soft-solid media, and with the advent of fractal Fourier analysis….
Bartbright (interrupting nervously): Peter, we will have an editorial on fractional Fourier analysis for our fact-loving readers on Tuesday, so just the basics now please!
Karbid (sounding like a cat who has been denied a mouse): There is a way to extract from a person a complete recording of their recent conversations, with the duration of the recording limited only by the person’s personal habits.
Bartbright (befuddled): Extract? Personal habits?
Karbit (triumphantly) Earwax! The substance is like magic, and as long it has room to grow it encodes all sounds entering through the ear-canal.
Bartbright (slightly disgusted) I see the connection to personal habits.
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A FOIA request unearthed that CIA is in possession of considerable number of earwax samples from the members of the Trump campaign, transition team, cabinet members, and the President himself. These were surreptitiously harvested over a period of time per instructions from the Obama administration. The legality of these acquisitions is not contested, as these specimens were were left by the owners in bathrooms and stuck under chairs and tables, and as such are generally not protected by privacy laws.
Below are excerpts from an interview with Bartbright NIH contact Darren Penguilly.
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Bartbright: Darren, can you tell us what you learned from the earwax samples recovered from Trump’s cronies?
Penguilly: Oh, boy, it is a mother lode. Amazing stuff.
Bartbright: Nothing questionable I hope…
Penguilly: At the moment we have only established two facts regarding the sample originating from the President.
Bartbright: Yes?
Penguilly: One is that his sample is shaped like Russia. We would love to take a peek in his ear-canal.
Bartbright: And the other?
Penguilly: The other one is that he is functionally deaf.
Bartbright: Deaf?! Obviously, he is not deaf!
Penguilly: Let me explain - large marine mammals can lower their heart rate, and thereby their oxygen consumption, by 90 percent when diving. This is a protective mechanism for functioning in an airless environment.
Bartbright: So?
Penguilly: So the leading theory among my colleagues at NiH is that President Trump developed similar coping mechanisms when dealing with sources of information that threaten his viewpoints. He can throttle them at the entry point! Cool stuff!
Bartbright: He can not hear at will?
Penguilly: Yep. Quiet time when you need it, just like a whale.
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This is heady stuff, and we will stay on the story and report as soon as more facts emerge.
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