Trump vulnerable and this time it is not his big mouth --- Bartbright reports

The earwax scandal shows no signs of abating. As an ear-cleaning panic spread  through Congress and the White House, a rumor surfaced about a surveillance video casting a negative light on President Trump. Then the sudden and abrupt resignation of Dr. Ben Carson added to the mystery. Dr Carson announced his departure from the Department of Housing and Urban Development effective immediately and expressed a wish to assume an adjunct position with a four course per semester teaching load at a lesser-known university somewhere in North Dakota.

Bartbright contacted NIH correspondent Darren Penguilly for details.

Bartbright: Darren, what do you know about this sensational video and its origins? Have you seen it?

Penguilly: Not really. But we are in possession of literally thousands of hours of footage starting a few days after Election Day.  Small portion of it depicts Trump Family meetings in the West Wing.

Bartbright: Anything interesting?

Penguilly: I am told that this could be a game changer.

Bartbright: Finally! It is time to put this country on a path to greatness.

Penguilly (absentmindedly) Absolutely.

Bartbright: So what about the video itself?

Penguilly: The video is extremely grainy and of very low quality. It has been taken in various parts of White House over a period of several months. The recording device is only about a half inch above the floor. The audio is much better but there is a strange disconnect between the images and the earwax recording.

Bartbright: Disconnect?

Penguilly: As if whoever was recording it was not really paying much attention.  

Bartbright: So what gives?

Penguilly: At first we thought that someone  snuck a small drone into the White House.  However, further examination indicated that earwax containing the audio portion of the recording was not human.

Bartbright: C’mon … aliens in the White House?

Penguilly:  We think it was a mouse.

Bartbright: A mouse with a video camera trained in surveillance? You are not serious.

Penguilly: No video camera and no training. There is a technique pioneered by Dr. Ben Carson, that can stimulate mammalian brain into a complete recovery of the contents of visual cortex. Just like a movie.

Bartbright:  So this would explain Dr Carson’s sudden departure. So far, scientific discovery is the worst enemy of this White House.

Penguilly: But four courses a semester in North Dakota. Ouch!

Bartbright: So the recordings cover the end of the Obama presidency and the beginning of Trump’s.  Anything about Obama? 

Penguilly: Surprisingly, the footage covering November 8 till January 22 does not show anything interesting. The White House Mouse was in hiding for the entire time.

Bartbright: I am not surprised. With a liberal on the loose in the White House I would be hiding too.

Penguilly: We started thinking that there is something special about President Trump that sets him apart from his predecessors.

Bartbright: That he is the greatest President in the US history?

Penguilly: Of course. But it is more specific.

Bartbright: You are not going to dredge the myth of his small hands, I hope.

Penguilly: The leading theory at NIH  is that President Obama had powerful defenders that President Trump is sorely missing.

Bartbright: Powerful defenders? What about Russia? Is it not powerful enough?

Penguilly: I mean Bo and Sunny, Obama’s dogs that defended his presidency  against rodent surveillance.

Bartbright (with dismay): Pets?

Penguilly: Geese saved Rome from invaders, and clearly Bo and Sunny saved Obama from jail. Trump is the first pet-less president in US history and this makes him vulnerable.